Hello, everyone!
I feel bad for not posting for so long... has it really been a year? So much has happened in that time and my life has been crazy! The most life changing thing to happen this past year is that I started dating and got married to the love of my life. I could not be happier. He treats me so well and when I have hard days or feel self conscious, all I need to do is see the way he looks at me and everything somehow is alright again. He makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I am so lucky!
Also life changing, since I last posted I have had 4 surgeries to treat my Barrett's Esophagus (the intestinal lining that formed in my esophagus) and get rid of some precancerous cells, and as of the 2nd, I am now free of that burden. I am beyond excited because the procedure is
not fun and now I can move on to taking care of various other health issues. One of the biggest ones is my GERD, and it has made it really hard to heal, even when I have been taking the medicine I need to... which brings me to why I'm posting again and rambling in the first place!
Because my acid reflux is so bad and is preventing me from healing at the pace I need to be, my most recent surgeon has recommended that I get a gastric bypass surgery. It will not only help with my reflux, but it will also get rid of my hernia and my insulin resistance. And it will help me to lose weight.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. But I am also SUPER EXCITED. Had my circumstances been different and I just had a weight issue, would I go in for a weight loss surgery? Probably not. I fully believe in the power of working out and eating right and drinking lots of water. IT WORKS. It takes a lot of dedication and willpower and is so worth it. Sometimes, though, things happen and your body just doesn't do what you want it to.
I've been really struggling with the fact that I worked so hard to lose 54 pounds for my mission just to have it all come back after my mission for reasons that I could not control. I was bitter and depressed about it for a while, even though I knew in my soul that I was still better off because I am still able to do more than I could have dreamed before I lost the weight initially. That being said, I am so grateful for this opportunity coming up. I have been big my entire life and have tried so hard to get it off. And I know that it's not going to be a magic switch that is really easy. It's going to be painful and hard and it is going to suck. But I can't wait.
I can't wrap my mind around it, but I am finally going to be able to make bigger progress toward my ideal weight. I am going to be able to fit into normal sized clothes and have more energy to do the things I've always wanted to do. And for the first time, I'm not going to constantly worried about how fat I look, even if I have loose skin post-op. After a lifetime of being overweight and 3 years of being sick and in and out of the hospital with no end in sight, this is a
HUGE answer to my prayers. I feel so blessed and grateful.
I apologize for rambling, but I felt like I needed to get my thoughts down as I start this next step in my journey to a healthier me. Thank you all for the love and support you have given me. It has meant the world to me and continues to make me want to strive to be a better person. This is my new beginning, my second chance, and I'm excited to have you all with me! My surgery consult is on March 21, so I'll post updates as I get them.
Current Weight: 247